Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The blog has moved to a new location...

To better reflect the reality of what this weblog now is, I have started a new blog which you can find here: http://cantilinachronicles.blogspot.com/

Thanks so much for following our journey to Lilly and the subsequent year of miracles and joy.  Please continue to follow us in our new location!
~Amy

Monday, March 29, 2010

In case you're not on Facebook...

It is much easier to keep everyone updated in real time on Facebook than it is on my blog, even though I prefer the "coziness" of the blog (can anything in cyberspace really be cozy?).  So in case you are not on facebook (or you want a more detailed readout on our trip), I just wanted to post a quick update here to let you know that everything last week in Philadelphia went so very smoothly. I am praising God for safe travels, for praying friends and family members, for comfort and calmness for Lilly despite the unpleasantness of some of our days while we were there, for fabulous accommodations at the Ronald McDonald House within walking distance of CHOP, and for some time with Grammy, Pop Pop, and Aunt Judi. 

A quick recap:  Lilly and I flew up on Wednesday, arriving in Philadelphia at 5:30pm Wednesday.  My task once we got the rental car and got checked in at the Ronald McDonald House was to keep Lilly up late, wake her early Thursday morning, and deprive her of food and water for 8 hours prior to our show time of 11:30 am.  I had been quite nervous about this task, until we got checked in at the house and I saw what it had to offer. 

Let me tell you about it.  The Ronald McDonald House is a charity that opens rooms to out-of-town families receiving medical care at area hospitals.  The house in Philly (the first one to exist, I believe) has over 100 rooms.  They are typically full, but they squeezed us into a room with one queen bed and a bathroom in the hall.  We put an air mattress on the floor for Lilly and it was perfect.  They provide lodging, volunteer-prepared dinners each night, free access to the pantry and shared items in the fridge and freezer, play rooms, books, toys, DVDs, a teen room with game tables and video games, computer rooms, outdoor playground, volunteers come in to entertain and play with the kids...absolutely amazing.  I wanted to cry with relief during our tour as my anxieties about entertaining LIlly for all those hours melted away.  All for only $15 a night per family.  Until having the need for a facility like this, I could never have truly understood how wonderful it is.  And Lilly and I technically really didn't "need" this facility for just a quick 3-night stay.  We could have made do in a regular hotel room somewhere (I had used about 80% of my small suitcase space for books, toys, puzzles, playdough, and games), we could have eaten out, we could have used our rental car to get to CHOP rather than walking, and we could have afforded to pay more for a few nights.  But how convenient, how nice it was to have all they offered at our disposal. 

And we met some amazing families.  Families from England who have been living there since January and will be there until July because of the extensive cancer treatments their children are undergoing.  Families from South America.  Families from New York staying for a week. Each family with its own story, its own reason for being in town, its own disease or malady or deformity or trauma and the associated anxiety, heartache, and stress.  So how wonderful it is what the Ronald McDonald House was providing.  I can't say enough good things, and I am so relieved to know it's there for our future visits.  There are no Air Force bases in Philly, so the likelihood of us ever living close to where LIlly where receive her medical care over her growing hears is pretty much nil.  We'll be back.

Enough about that...back to Lilly.  So we successfully made it through our morning of fasting, and showed up for her pulmonary function testing on Thursday around 11:30am.  By 1pm, she was receiving her dose of chloralhydrate to help her go to sleep for the test.  They allowed me to administer it orally via syringe and she only fought it a little bit (they warned me it would taste nasty) and neither of us were wearing any of it when she had finished taking it.  YES!  About 10 minutes later, after some crying and whimpering as I rocked her in my arms, she was out cold.  They transferred her onto a little bed inside a glass chamber, got a mask over her face, got a vest around her chest, and began the test.  The test itself is amazing...it involved measuring her lung capacity, air flow, and a host of other factors by blowing air into her lungs, and taking measurements as she exhaled.  Sometimes they would apply pressure (the techincal term, really, for that was to "hug" her) to force air out to measure other things.   I won't go into all the medical jargon.  But after the 45-50 minute test was concluded and Lilly was back in my arms to snooze for a bit longer until the meds wore off, the pulmonologist went over the results with me.  The bottom line:  she has severe restrictive lung disease, with only 30-40 percent of the lung capacity and air flow that would normally be expected for a child her age and size.  Miraculously, she compensates for that by breathing more rapidly than most people and stays fully oxygenated.  These bodies God created surely are amazing.

Lilly slept in my arms for another 40 minutes or so, and just as I was going to lay her down so I could use my hands, she began to be rudely awakened by some, ahem, gastro-intestinal issues that were the result of air being forced not only into her lungs, but also somewhat into her stomach and gut.  She began to awaken, and drank some water, which satisfied the nurse who then allowed us to get dressed and head back to the room.  For the rest of the afternoon and evening, Lilly was sort of like a hyperactive but drunken 4-year-old, wanting to be down and walking around, but too wobbly to do so safely. Her words were slurring and she was saying funny things.  She kept me on my toes, as I had to prevent her from hurting herself as she continually fell over or bumped into things.  By the time we went to bed that evening--after a snack, some playtime, some dinner, more playtime, and a bath--she was pretty much back to herself, just in time to face more in the morning.

Friday morning, we headed straight to the hospital after awakening, which made the morning fast a bit quicker and easier.  After a little confusion over where exactly we were to be checking in for the day, we got checked in and gowned up and ready for anaesthesia.  Lilly was acting much more anxious on this morning, not wanting to remove her coat (even though it was hot in the hospital) and sort of huddling in my lap, not wanting to get down and play as she normally does.  I was expecting lots of wailing when it came time to get vital signs and height and weight again, but God gave her a calm despite her anxiety and the wailing never came.  In fact, this was the most cooperative I have ever seen her in a medical setting.  She held out her arm for the blood pressure cuff, held out her finger for the pulse ox monitor, willingly stood on the scale for weight...way to go Lilly!  The nurse who checked us in doted on her, gave her birthday presents (a stuffed lion that she fitted with some socks since Lilly was keeping her socks on too), stickers, bubbles, etc.  Even though Lilly did not show her appreciation so exuberantly, I could tell she was enjoying the attention and the gifts.  The lion proved to be a useful therapy tool as the lion told Lilly that he was a little bit scared Lilly (in her Chinglish): "I little pa (scared), too"

Finally the time came to get her into the anaethesia room where the anaesthesiologist had me hold in in a bear hug while he placed the mask over her nose and mouth.  She was not happy about the mask, didn't like the "flavor", and cried a little, but after just a few minutes she had given up the fight and was soundly asleep in my arms.  He took her from me, laid her on the stretcher and excused me so they could get her intubated and into the MRI room.  It was so hard to walk away from that room with her on the table...but I did.  And went out into the cold to find a Starbucks without a line a mile long (difficult to find in the university district of Philly, but after a long cold walk I found one).  Then back to the hospital for about a 3.5-hour wait.  Time to pray, time to read a parenting book about connecting with your teen, time to talk to my friend Cindy and my Mom on the phone, time to pray some more, time to text Tom with updates, time to walk and stretch my legs, time to "people watch" the many families in the waiting area with children in surgery or under anaesthesia.  Finally, they called my cell phone and told me to head back downstairs to radiology where they would be bringing her in shortly after her final CT scan.

They made me wait outside the room while they got her breathing tube out, but once they let me in, she was already beginning to wake up.  She was clearly uncomfortable and unhappy, but allowed me to pick her up and cuddle her as she slowly gained awareness of her surroundings.  She quietly snuggled in my lap while they finished her paperwork, got me a disc with a copy of all her scans on it, gave me instructions on followup care, and waited for her to drink something.  They said she did great.  We had to peel off all the stickers they had stuck on her and get the IV out, get the pulse ox monitor off, and remove all the other paraphernalia that was still attached here and there, but finally we were able to leave. 

Because our walk from the Ronald McDonald House to the hospital in the morning had been so very frigid, I decided to catch the shuttle back to the house from the hospital and the timing worked out great to catch it after just a short wait.  We arrived back at the house just in time for Grammy, Pop Pop, and Aunt Judi to arrive for a visit.  We got Lilly some soup and hard-boiled eggs to break her fast, and then she got to open birthday presents which brightened up her day considerably!  Then she got to enjoy the attentions of lots of loved ones in the play rooms, and I got to relax a little bit with a few extra adults around.  They stayed for a quick bite of salad at dinner time at the house, then headed back up to meet Uncle Doug on his way in from Canada for the weekend.

Since our flight out was early Saturday morning, I did all of our checking out Friday night, which includes vacuuming and emptying the trash in the room.  Got everything packed up and got us to bed after a quick bath for Lilly.  The next morning was an early one as I was a little anxious about finding our way to the airport, stopping for gas so I wouldn't have to pay $13 for the measly 1 gallon of gas I had used this week, and getting checked into our flight. 

All went smoothly...flights were mostly on time and Lilly napped a bit on each of the two flights.

SO good to see Tom, Jared, and Anna at the Ft. Walton Beach airport when we arrived!  Lilly was funny--she had fallen asleep on the flight and awakened as I was carrying her (and my backpack and her back pack and her stroller) into the airport from the plane.  She groggily said "where are we?"  When I cheerily said "we're home!" she took one look at the airport and said "THIS no home!!"  I guess you have to be more specific with this girl! 

Anyway, now we wait to hear from the surgical team after than have sat down together to look at Lilly's results and make decisions about a timeline and an exact surgical course.  I am eager to hear what they are recommending, and hoping that if they want to perform the surgery this summer, they can do it in mid to late June, since Jared and Anna go back to school on 5 August this year--yikes it is a short summer for them!! 
That would give them time to hang out with cousins and grandparents, give LIlly time to recover, and still give us some time at home before school starts again. 

Of course, if I have learned nothing else in the time since we began this adoption adventure, it is that waiting on God's timing is key to peace of mind.  So whatever the timing looks like, I know our sovereign Lord has it in His good and capable hands.  Stay tuned...I'll keep you posted.

For now, we are enjoying spring break with lots of household chores, yard work and a few fun things thrown in as well...

Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Tomorrow, Lilly and I head back to Philly to undergo two days of tests and studies...Thursday (her birthday) she'll be sedated for a pulomnary function test, and Friday she'll be under general anasthesia for a series of MRI and CT scans as well as a dynamic lung study.  These studies will provide all the specifics the surgical team will need to determine a timeline and an exact surgical approach for LIlly.

Please pray for safe travels, that she'll remain healthy so the tests can proceed, that she'll tolerate the medications and tests well, and that she will tolerate th pre-procedure limitations on food and fluids well.  Pray also for Tom and the kids back at home (and thank God with us for good friends and neighbors helping with them while I'm gone). 

Updates to come along the way.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Happy Birthday to Lilly!

It has been an exciting week here...first Lilly's one-year anniversary of her joining our family, and--since she be under sedation on her actual birthday (25 March)--today we celebrated her birthday with some neighborhood friends and preschool friends.  What a beautiful day to play in the front yard--sidewalk chalk, bubbles, train table, balls, bouncy castle (borrowed from the Currys--thanks guys!)--and eat some yummy food and birthday cupcakes! 

I wasn't sure how Lilly would do with a pretty good sized crowd--I purposely kept it fairly small knowing she doesn't like huge crowds.  She did great, with just a moment or two of not wanting friends to take her balloon or other toys, etc. 

What wonderful friends we have been blessed with here.  Here are some photos from the big day!  Enjoy!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

One Year Plus One Day

So this is the day a year ago that we signed all the official paperwork that recognized Lilly as a Cantilina--the day after we met her.

We had a wonderful day of celebrating together yesterday--we ate homemade sweet and sour chicken and potstickers, we gave Lilly a single yellow rose to commemorate her first year with us, and we talked about how exciting it was to welcome her into our family. We watched together the video I posted yesterday, and it was the first time she had really seen most of the photos from her early days in China, her early days with us, and the photos of her with her foster mama and at the orphanage. I wasn't quite sure how she would react to the visual stimulation of possible memories, but she thoroughly enjoyed the chance to see herself when she was "a baby" (her word) in China and see us receive her from her "ayi" (orphange caregiver). She did not seem to recognize the ayi, maybe slightly recognized her foster mama's photo, but did not react at all badly to seein them. She was surprised to see that she and the other little girls in our gotcha' day video footage cried really hard--she kept asking us "why are they crying?" and I had to explain repeatedly that they were scared because they didn't know their mama or baba yet.

I was also unsure how seeing all of this might affect her nighttime sleep (not at all, it turns out!). But today it was interesting that she wanted to play out the scenario in our playtime together at home. She pretended to be the "baby" coming down the hall with her ayi (she would say each time "what's it called, mama? Whose hand was I holding?" and I would answer "your ayi." "yes, ayi.") I would act very excited to see her and receive her with hugs and kisses and smiles and she acted--without the extreme crying--fairly similarly to how she acted in China--very reserved, quiet, withdrawn, and unsure. It was really funny! We did it 2 or 3 times at her prompting, and finally I managed to divert her on to something new. Probably good for her to process it all in this way! But I much prefer the Lilly we have now--with life, and personality, and laughter, and love--rather than the emotionally shut down version we had a year ago!!

So now we begin year two, and life is so very normal it's amazing. Praise the Lord.

At this point, I may need to change the title of my blog! The adventure of Lilly's adoption is now over, and now we simply have the adventure of everyday life in the Cantilina household. Maybe "Cantilina Chronicles" or "Cantilina Crew" or--any other suggestions??

Thanks for reading. I hope to be better about updating since we have much coming in the next few weeks and months with Lilly's medical care. Stay tuned.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Happy Forever Family Day, Lilly!

What a difference a year makes. March 16th marks the one-year anniversary of Lilly joining our family. From the very first moment we laid eyes on her till now, it has been an incredible journey filled with miracles, challenges, love, and massive amounts of joy. I have been working on this slide show to encapsulate the past year--it has been wonderful to look back through all the photos and reflect on all that God has done in our hearts and in Lilly's life in such a quick year. It feels like just yesterday that she became ours, and yet it also feels like there was never a day that she was not in our family. I know before long it will be hard to remember "did that happen before or after we got Lilly?" because it will all begin to blur together. Our hearts are knit together, by the grace of God. May He get the glory.

One Year Ago Today...

...we were on our way to Zhengzhou, after having spent two days of sightseeing in Beijing with our wonderful travel group.  We were just hours away from meeting Lilly...

I can't belive it has been a year.

I am spending lots of time reminiscing, praising God, and looking at photos.  What a difference a year makes.

Stay tuned for more...

Why Adoption? Why China?

I'm sure that many of you, when you learned that Tom and I were pursuing adoption of a little girl from China, wondered "why?!" We may have taken some of you by surprise, and we thought it might be nice to share some of our thinking about this journey we are undertaking.

Adoption is something that, even from the earliest years of our marriage, we talked about as "maybe someday." The idea of adoption is appealing to us for many reasons. As Christians, we are adopted by God as his children through faith in Jesus. Adoption allows us to provide a child with the needed love, warmth, and financial resources we have been blessed with as a family. Finally, adoption allows us to add to our family at a time when our biological children are old enough to be more self-sufficient, and we are in a position financially to be able to welcome a child into our family in this way. What we hope to gain is an additional family member to love and learn from, and an opportunity to share the joy and love of our family.

We recognize that an adoption will bring unique parenting challenges to our family--especially since we are considering a child with special needs--and it is likely to put unique stresses on our family in a variety of ways. We are grateful for Tom's medical knowledge and for the great medical coverage we get through Tom's Air Force career, and we look forward to providing a forever family for a child whose medical needs might make it more difficult for another family to take on.

Finally, why China? My love for China, the Chinese language, and the Chinese people made China the natural choice. It was never really even a consideration whether to go with a domestic adoption or international; China was simply the natural choice that we immediately pursued, especially since there are so many children in China that need a forever family.

Chinese Word of the Day

The Time in China

When Love Takes You In

Our Adoption Timeline

  • Travel Dates--11-26 March
  • Swearing In Ceremony at Consulate--25 March (Lilly's 3rd Birthday!)
  • Consulate Appointment (CA)--24 March
  • Travel Approval (TA)--19 February 2009
  • Received Letter of Approval (LOA)--22 January 2009
  • Received Pre-Approval (PA)--25 November
  • Submitted Letter of Intent (LOI) to adopt An Xiao Xue, soon to be named Lillian Joy Xiao Xue, 1 November (logged in at CCAA 21 November)
  • Referral Call from CCAI asking us to consider An Xiao Xue's profile--31 October
  • Dossier Log-in-Date (LID) 3 July 2008
  • Dossier to China (DTC)--June 27 2008
  • Dossier Submitted to CCAI--June 2008
  • Fingerprinted at USCIS Jacksonville--April 2008
  • Application Approval ("We're Pregnant!") January 2008
  • Submitted Adoption Application and 3 References--December 2007
  • Requested Application from Chinese Children Adoption International (CCAI) --November 2007
  • Decided to Investigate Agencies--October 2007