A Lovely Wednesday

What a fun day today. ANna had field day at school, so after getting Anna to school, Lilly and I took Tad for a quick run, then biked up to the school to cheer for Anna and her classmates. Lilly had the most fun playing on the playground, getting brave enough to slide down the big slide nearly by herself (instead of sitting on my lap, she had me slide behind her holding her hand. A little bit of a challenge for me, but I managed!) Anna did great at field day, and it was fun to see her running around and having fun. I took Lilly home for lunch and a nice nap, and Nana and Pap Pap got here just in time to watch up and catch the last bit of field day with Anna.

It seemed as if Lilly has made a few steps forward today, acting more content all day, not demanding my presence all the time or my attention as much, and just acting like a more normal happy kid. Praise God! She has been really funny today, and she enjoyed our evening outing with nana and Pap Pap and the dog to Hershey's ice cream for dessert.

For the second night in a row, she has fallen asleep in her crib without me lying on the couch near enough to reach out and hold her hand. Last night she only woke up one time--about 3am--to go potty and have a quick drink of water, then she slept till 7am. Hopefully we are moving toward a full nights' sleep. I hope her bladder can soon make it through the night, as I think this is the main reason she awakens. Once she is no longer in a crib and she is comfortable, perhaps she can even go potty on her own. For now, if it's just one awakening, I can handle it!

I have more photos to post soon (Lilly with Pap Pap, and our outing for ice cream). Hopefully tomorrow.

Here is one of Lilly at Anna's field day...

Thank God for Nana and Pap Pap

Wow, I do not think I could have made it through this day without my parents here! Tom is TDY to Wright Patterson this week, and even though it was a mostly normal day for us, my parents have done SO much to make things easier and smoother for me at home. (Normal doesn't necessarily mean easy or carefree!)

I was able to get the kids off to school ok this morning, and Lilly, Tad, and I headed out for a run together after getting ANna to school. Lilly wasn't so keen on the jogger this morning (I wonder if it is starting to get too hot for her), and complained most of the way, then fell asleep (at 9:30am??) about 2/3 of the way through the run. Nana and Pap Pap came as I was finishing my shower, and helped get breakfast dishes taken care of and laundry underway. We played with Lilly for a little while, then my mom and I headed out to my periodontal appointment (so she could keep Lilly while the dr. examined my graft site from my surgery a few months back). Lilly was very concerned for mommy (I had assured her the visit was for MY teeth, not hers) and she stood by my side, held my hand, and watched that doctor's every move. She occasionally said "mama?" to make sure I was ok, since she couldn't see my face in the reclined position of the chair. She was very sweet.

We got home for some lunch and a nap (for Lilly), and found that pap pap had begun to vacuum the entire house. He then proceeded to mop as well, and my parents both dusted while I got Lilly down for her nap. WOW--I haven't felt so spoiled since I lived in TUrkey and had my maid 3 days a week! My mom helped to finish up the laundry I had started, and they have cleaned my kitchen after every meal. NOt to mention helping ANna with homework, taking Tad for multiple walks each day, taking Jared fishing, and entertaining Lilly. Sheesh, as I write this I am starting to wonder what *I* did all day?? I'm actually not even sure what I did, but I must have done something because I am exhausted.

Lilly still is waking several times each night, and she is still demanding a LOT of my attention...probably more so with the slight changes in the household this week. I am trying to squeeze in more reading about attachment and adoption parenting, as I increasingly feel completely ignorant and incompetent for this task! I feel as if I am not really giving Lilly all that she needs, and yet I am also not giving Jared and Anna all that they need, and--if it weren't for my folks this week--my house would also be falling apart. I am feeling desperate for just a little break from her, but I don't want to jeopardize the bonding and attachment that has begun to form. It has been nice that she is willing to play with my mom, and the evenings are usually pleasant as she is most likely to go off and play independently at that time of day. But look out if you don't give her just what she wants just when she wants it.

I know the words of wisdom my mom spoke to me when Jared and ANna were toddlers and infants will hold true again this time: "The years pass quickly. It's the days that are long."

Lord, give me strength day by day.

Some More Firsts...

Lilly's first time in a pool (fully in...she had previously enjoyed only putting her feet in our pool, and had then progressed to standing on the top step and dipping her hair in). She seems to like the water and even bath time is now lots more fun, with Lilly clapping and saying "yay!" when Anna or Mama rinses her hair. Progress! OK, this isn't Lilly, but Jared is still pretty cute in my book. Here's Jared and a few of the older kids from our Bible study buried in the sand at the beach today...

Lilly's first day at the beach! She seemed to enjoy it, to my surprise. I had thought she wouldn't really like the feel of the sand, but she seemed to get used to it quickly. She really liked going down to the water, even allowing me to carry her into the water for awhile to feel the waves pass us by. She did not, however, enjoy the big wave the splashed her in the face. But she quickly recovered.

She was so funny at one point, she walked toward the water, but not nearly close enough to the waves to get her feet wet. Wanting to fill a small bucket, she stood at her distance, and beckoned with her hand, saying "lai!" ("come!") to the water.

Man, does this girl get a killer tan fast! Even wearing sunblock.
First time in a beach hat, on a beach blanket...

First walk with Nana! My parents arrived yesterday for a week's visit (yay!) and Lilly has taken to them very quickly! She is learning to say "Nana" and "Pap "Pap."

Just moments after meeting Nana and Pap Pap. Lilly wasn't sure she was ready to get too close for this photo, but I'm sure if I had taken some today, she would have happily allowed Nana to hold her for a photo.

These next 3 don't depict any firsts, but they sure are cute...she just loves those babies!

First field trip...we accompanied Anna's 3rd grade class for an Earth Day celebration...what a day! Lilly wasn't too keen on having to be carried around as I herded Anna and a friend who were my charges as a chaperone. She wanted to be put down and allowed to wander wherever she liked, which wasn't possible this particular day with hundreds of kids from the entire county running around. She survived, however, and Anna's classmates and teachers gave her plenty of attention!

We are still struggling to maintain more than one or two nights in a row of uninterrupted sleep...I will be so happy when that happens regularly! Tom is gone for some training this week, so I am very happy to have my parents here (staying in a condo nearby) for the week!

We have Lilly's first orthopedic evaluation scheduled for May 6th, and we are eager to learn more about what her treatment plan will entail. I will likely have to take her in for some more immunizations this week, which doesn't thrill me after our rough night last week, but it must be done.

A few more words added to her English vocabulary: "hot," "wet," "ow" (does that count?), "I know" (I'm not sure she knows it's meaning, but she hears her older siblings saying it alot so she sometimes walks around saying it...). She is starting to be able to recognize colors by their English names (I'm actually not certain she can do this by their Chinese names yet!).

Anna is really coming along as a big sister! She has had such a great week or so of letting her big sisterly love and compassion shine, and has had a great attitude. I am so thankful! She enjoys helping Lilly to bathe (and Lilly likes to let her help), playing with Lilly on the floor, teaching her new words, etc. And now, rather than getting frustrated when Lilly shouts "Bu! Mei Mei de!" ("No! This is mine!") if Anna gets too close when Lilly has a toy or something to eat and is not in a great mood, Anna simply smiles, laughs, and says, "Dui! Shi Mei Mei de!" ("Yes, it's yours!") What an improvement. She used to get mad and frustrated, since she felt falsely accused (she had no intention of taking Lilly's things) and felt as if Lilly didn't like her. Now I think she understands that it's just one of Lilly's little quirks, which is quickly disarmed by agreeing with Lilly. Yay Anna!

What a night...

Lilly received her first round of immunizations yesterday, which she handled like a trooper. She came home and took a nice long nap and was a happy little thing all afternoon and evening. Last night, however, she began to run a fever and complained that her leg hurt (assuming it was from the injections). I gave her some motrin and put her to bed, a little on the early side as she seemed tired. Whew! Every 40-45 minutes from about 8:45 until about 1:00am, and them again starting at 5:00am, Lilly has been up crying and unhappy. I spent about half the night in her room, but thankfully got in a solid 4 hours' sleep in my own bed from 1-5am. I was just about to quickly get into some workout clothes and get to the gym this morning at 5am when she awakened again. So now, after another dose of motrin, some time on the couch, in her bed, and, finally, on my bed, she is back to sleep. Hopefully she'll sleep enough to awaken refreshed after such a rough night.

And now, time to get the big kids up for school...

Our New "Normal?"

When we were on our flight home from China just under a month ago, I remember thinking that I couldn't wait to settle into whatever our new "normal" would be with LIlly in our family. I think we are starting to settle into that now, and I have to say that the new normal, though sometimes exhausting and stressful, is, on the whole, really good. Lilly is starting to blend into the family pretty well. Here are a few elements of our new normal:

• Lilly is not consistent in her nighttime sleeping and waking. She'll have a great night's sleep, followed by a night in which she awakens 3 or 4 times. Somtimes she'll have a string of good nights, then a string of bad nights. Consistency in this regard has yet to materialize. THankfully, when she does awaken at night, it is not hard for her to settle back to sleep. Usually, she needs to potty or a drink of water or a blanket smoothed over her. And then she will be instantly back to sleep. I don't think she is fully awake. I am hopeful that the trend will be toward better and better nights consistently. Those mornings aftger I've been awakened several times, it is so hard for me to get up early and exercise and have quiet time as I like to do. Without those mainstays in my day, it is much harder for me to go about daily routines with joy....so I am exercising discipline to get up early even when I've been awakened several times a night, which is good.
• LIlly takes stock several times a day of where each family member is. We go through each person and review where they have gone and when they'll be home. She'll ask me in Chinese "Jie Jie?" (big sister?), and I'll answer "she went to school." Then we move on to "gege" (big brother) and baba (daddy). Sometimes when she asks I'll turn the question around and see if she can answer her own question. Usually she can and will say "big brother went to school" or "daddy went to work." I think she most loves evenings and weekends when everyone is home (so do I!)
• Homework time is interesting these days because Lilly is so very distracting and fun to play with. It is taking lots of diligence on this mom's part to keep Lilly entertained and keep the big kids on track.
• New words (in both languages) and sounds emerge each day. Here is a partial list (as I think of them) of English words that Lilly will say--in context--sometimes unprompted: No!, sit (she inserts a bit of an "sh" sound here, not good!), eat, hi!, Bye Bye!, night night!, hot, wet, Lilly, down, "mmmMMMMmmm" (does that count as a word when she likes her food?). SHe is learning the kids' names (though she still always refers to them as jie jie and ge ge, which Jared prefers) and Tad's name. It is very cute to hear her say her own name, which right now sounds sort of like "Lelly." But she says it proudly with a smile. Her receptive language in English is definitley coming along. She'll repond appropriately when people ask her to do things in English. I look forward to her expressive language coming along as well.
• I am learning to "recalibrate" my day moment by moment, especially in the early morning when it becomes apparent whether I have some time before LIlly is up. Just trying to make sure I get in a run or a spin class takes a lot of strategic thought!
• The house gets cleaned in little fits and spurts. I am happy at least I get some cleaning done and dinner made!
• We go through a lot of eggs.
• I am expending much emotional energy on my oldest daughter, who is needing a bit of extra TLC these days and is struggling to find appropriate ways to express her emotions.
• Car rides can be excruciating--the carseat is not Lilly's favorite place to sit. Thank God for the video system in our new car, and the Chinese children's DVD I bought in Guangzhou. I reserve it for those times when she just starts repeating more and more loudly "get down! get down!" (meaning let me out of this car seat!!) For several of the songs (feature little girls singing and dancing) she points and says "Lulu!" which is the name of her little Anyang friend, adopted by my friend Kris the same day we got LIlly.
• DInner time is one of our most pleasant times as a family, as we eat, talk, joke, and laugh together. Lilly thinks it's really funny when she burps and she'll point to her tummy and say "uh-oh, it's full!"
• Walking Anna to and from school is now a challange, with a stroller (and a child wanting to get out of it and wander around on her own) and a big strong dog. I think I need to find other times to walk the dog so I only have the stroller.

So that's a brief glimpse into our new normal. More pictures to come...I haven't taken any off of the camera in a few days.

What lies ahead for the coming week? We'll start her immunizations this week, and I'll be calling today to make an appointment for her at Children's Hospital in Pensacola for her initial orthopedic evaluations. We look forward to having Nana and Pap Pap here for a week starting next Saturday!

First Easter

Here is Lilly, walking into church on Easter Sunday. Baby comes along almost everywhere!

Contemplating her first chocolate bunny...

Yes, she is definitely in the right family...she likes chocolate!

Anna with her favorite dyed egg on Easter morning. The big kids dyed the eggs; Lilly ate most of them!

Pretty girl, ready for church

First egg is found! She had just awoken from her nap so the banana is the post-nap snack...

Another one in Lilly's color!

Sisters looking cute together...

Assessing the eggs' contents. She decided she doesn't like skittles, but she had to taste (and then spit into mama's hand) each color to be sure.

Lilly is getting braver about the pool...I think we'll be spending some time in it together this summer!

Every day seems to get a little bit better with Lilly these days! She is learning more English words, more sign language, and is even putting more Chinese words together to communicate. We are finding fun things to do at home and out and about, and have even had a playdate or two with other kiddos (and their mommies, which makes me happy!) Lilly had about a week or so of awakening with night terrors early in her sleep cycles at night, which were usually occuring just as Tom and I had finally started to drift off to sleep. She has had a few nights in a row without any, and I am hopeful we may be winding down on those. She is mostly sleeping through the night and taking good naps during the day. I have returned to my "nap nazi" ways which I guess is just a part of who I am, but I have to say that a well-rested baby is simply a happier baby (which makes for a happier mama!)

The big kids have settled back in at school, and are doing great. They came home from their long trip and, instead of finding themselves far far behind in their work, they are actually ahead of their classes in most subjects! Anna is back at the pool for swim team (albeit without mom as coach) and Jared is back at the track after school. Jared is really relishing his role as big brother and Lilly enjoys playing with him a lot. He has taught her to "high five" and do "thumbs up." Tonight as we walked Tad, she held up her hands for a high five when someone happened to say the number "five" in the course of conversation. Pretty cute.

Anna is most definitely being stretched by this whole experience, as she has lost her status not just as the only girl but also as the youngest. She loves Lilly and loves to show her new sister to everyone, but she struggles to always know how to appropriately interact with her (toddlers can be quirky and Lilly doesn't always appreciate Anna's tight squeezes or her efforts to play) and Anna is definitely on an emotional edge much of the time lately. I am trying my hardest to be sensitive to her, to draw her feelings out in conversation (she is beginning to open up), and build her up verbally as best as I can. Most of all I am praying for her that God would help her to take joy in her new and important role as older sister.

Here are some photos from our lovely Easter celebration, including a neighborhood egg hunt on Saturday and church on Sunday. I failed to take any photos of our Bible study/LIFE group at our place on Sunday afternoon, unfortunately. But it was great to have everyone here and enjoy a potluck Easter dinner together after finishing our study of Malachi.

She's Napping...here are some new photos while I have a second!

Here's Lilly, doing some of her favorite things: sitting on the counter, eating, while I work in the kitchen... (eating apples...)

(...eating cucumbers, no skin or seeds, if you please...)

Wearing her princess crown that came in the card and present from Aunt Judi (note the cute pink purse next to her on the chair!) Here she is actually sitting outside watching Anna and friends play with their American Girl dolls.

Playing with big brother, big sister, and Daddy. They all love to play with her so much (and mommy loves it, too, since I'm home alone with her most of the time now!). It has become too hard for Jared and Anna to do their homework with such a sweet sister hanging around being cute, wanting to play, needing help with things, etc...

Opening "welcome home" and "birthday" presents that have been arriving in the mail lately. She is so cute, exclaiming "ooooOOOOOoooooh! oooooOOOOOooooh!" over and over again. She LOVEs these alphabet blocks from Aunt Paula and the animal matching game and bingo game from my dear friend Susan.

...eating at the countertop again, also feeding her babies. We don't leave home without at least one, sometimes two or three.

Sitting at the piano...

That's it for now. Lilly is doing great! I'm the one having the harder time adjusting to being home with a toddler again! But she has been a joy (except for when she first wakes up...she's a bear when she wakes up, no matter how long she slept).

All for now...stuff to do while she sleeps!

Day 2 with big kids back in school

Lilly and I have been savoring quiet days at home with Jared and Anna back in school these past two days. It has been great time for bonding with her--sitting on the floor playing, walking outside, playing with Tad outside, playing music, playing dolls, eating, feeding babies, etc. I am a little tired...and nothing is getting done around the house (well, I did fold 3 baskets of laundry, finally, that had been sitting on the couch staring me down for 3 days). But it has been good. I feel like Lilly and I sort of have our own language--a mixture of Chinese, sign, English, and gestures. It has been working out well for now! I have sent an e-mail to a language development expert at Towson University, hoping to get some advice on whether it is, indeed, good for me to continue to speak to Lilly mainly in Chinese.

As long as I am giving Lilly undivided attention and mostly following her lead in what she wants to do, all is well. When I have to do something besides play with her, she gets a bit upset, but I am working on helping her to understand that I'll soon be with her again. It's a struggle, but I know we'll get there!

Now that I've had two days of solitude with her, I am starting to think a small playgroup would be a good thing...so I'm keeping my ears and eyes open for something suitable.

I'm thankful for the fact that she is sleeping through the night (other than 1 night terror each night soon after she has fallen asleep, usually taking place before Tom and I have gone to sleep). Once we get her soothed again, she sleeps through till 7am or so.

She does ask about Jared and Anna now that they're in school...I think she understands when I tell her they went to school. They have been so good with her.

This is short as she is napping and I have much to do now that she is down!

More photos hopefully tomorrow!

My New Workout Regimen

Thank you to the many people who have offered sweet comments on my blog posts the past few days. You are the best. Even if I don't know you, I so appreciate the words of encouragement and wisdom. Even those of you who are following and not posting comments, I appreciate your prayers for us all!

Today I just had to share some of the ways I am now able to get full-body workouts without going to the gym. It involves a jogging stroller and a large, happy, puppy-like golden retriever:

• Cardio: this is obvious--I am running. Gleefully because I am out in the fresh air getting some exercise. Sometimes really fast when Lilly says she needs to go potty or when I can tell she is just about DONE with the jogger. And, read on to see why my heart rate is higher on these runs that the runs I did last summer in preparation for my marathon!
• Balance: when Tad suddenly stops to sniff or pee and I have one arm strapped to his leash and the other strapped to the jogger. The jogger and I tend to keep going until his leash stops me in my tracks, and I have to act quickly to make sure I don't tip the jogger or fall over.
• Core Strength: see "balance" above. I am, as they say "engaging the core" to maintain a vertical posture during these new workouts. Even on straight stretches of flat road, I am engaging the core to keep the jogger on a straight path and to keep Tad by my side.
• Flexibility: again, see above. One arm is suddenly jerked backward, while the other is stretched in the other direction. Also, flexibility is required to pick up the poop when Tad decides to wander as far from the road as his leash will allow to find that "perfect spot" to let loose. Jogging stroller on one arm, Walmart plastic bag on the other. And the dog still on one of those arms, too... Sometimes I find myself almost tied in knots if Tad decides to circle around me or if other people with dogs happen to come along our path. I'm sure I am a sight.
• Strength Training: pulling Tad away from the many interesting places to sniff. Pulling him away from other dogs. Standing my ground when he wants to go visit other dogs on their walks. Especially those who also accompany joggers.
• Tumbling: I try my hardest to avoid this last one, but I have had to implement this once so far. My strength and balance were not enough to overcome that of a 70-pound puppy who saw a friend. Thankfully, Lilly, the stroller, and I survived the tumble, though I now sport a bruise or two.
• Mental Alertness: finally, this isn't merely a physical workout. Continual and thorough scans of the horizon and either side of our path are required to ensure that tumbling can be avoided and that I am prepared for all other aspects of this workout.

Try it now! You, too, can benefit from the effects of this new regimen. No personal trainers needed.

I Have to Wonder...

• ...what you are thinking when friends come to visit. Are you afraid they might be the next ones to take you away from familiar surroundings?


• ...whether you used to play a game of "buying things" with your foster mama. So cute when you wanted to trade the penny for the apple the other day.


• ...whether you think about/miss your foster family or friends and nannies in the orphanage, and whether you wonder if you'll see any of them when we go outside.


• ...whether the Chinese I am able to use with you each day now will have any lasting value in your language skills/life. For now, I'm grateful for a way to communicate basic things. My prayer is that my love for you will come through even in this foreign (to me) language.


• ...whether you always got your way when you threw tantrums in China.


• ...whether you think every car ride will take you to a strange place where strangers will take you awaw.


• ...what the plans are that God has for your life. He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future. SO privileged to be a part of that plan.


• ...how hard it will be to take good care of your skeletal shape to allow your body to grow and thrive.


• ...whether I am doing the right things each day as I learn how to take care of your needs without succumbing to tantrums and demands. Lord give me wisdom, love, and grace.

Likes and Dislikes

In addition to some fun photos from the past few days, here are a few things we are learning about Lilly's likes and dislikes:

What she likes:

• Meat (she calls is "rou rou"). Any kind of meat: sausage, hot dogs, lunch meat, bacon, chicken, beef. She is a carnivore like her brother. She almost had a melt down as we passed the deli counter during our first outing to Winn Dixie to get some basics like milk and eggs (and soymilk as we think dairy may give her some intestinal issues), because she saw all that yummy meat. She had to have it. NOW. Anna wanted to meet me at the front of the store...I think she was a little embarrassed by Lilly. But--bless her heart--the sweet deli lady gave us a sample slice and...ahhhh...all was well.
• Eggs. She eats several scrambled ones each day.
• Baby dolls. We discovered this yesterday when Anna's sweet friend Katie gave Lilly some of her old baby dolls to play with. Lilly hugs them and pats them and--as they cry when you squeeze their tummies--quickly feeds them lots of food. When i suggested that maybe the babies were tired and needing naps when they cried, she shook her head NO vigorously and stated simply "eat." Then she proceeded to give them plastic bottles and plastic green peas and carrots. It is so cute to watch her play babies, and we got her a little stroller at Target yesterday. She is currently napping on the floor with all the babies who are also napping. Maybe it feels more like the orphanage?
• Playing peek a boo. Hiding behind towels, the stroller canopy, whatever. I think she likes it because she knows that she has someones undivided attention...
• Music. She likes to listen to it, produce it, mimic it. She discovered the piano today and not only did she play it, she insisted that the doll play it too.
• Cats. Her favorite little Chinese picture book, by far, is the one with the cat picture in it. We have to go back and look at it after every single page of the book or any other picture book.
• Choosing her own clothes. Em--the T-shirt you and Wen designed was a hit! She chose it yesterday. I LOVE it, BTW. Very special.
• Sitting on the countertop when I am preparing meals. Not sure I'm crazy about this one, but for now I've allowed it a few times.
• Playing outside. The nonstop thunderstorms since we've been home has made this minimal. Bummer for spring break.
• Pockets ("dou dou"). She loves to just put her hands in them, or stash snacks in them. She points them out on all her clothes (not many of them have them so far) and our clothes and her dolls' clothes.

Dislikes (she is a very normal 3-year-old!):

• Not getting her way. I am so thankful I have the language skills to explain rationally to her many times each day why we do certain things certain ways. The tantrums from not getting it her way are starting to subside a bit.
• Not getting attention when she wants it. (see "peekaboo" above). if I happen to take a look at the computer or a book or magazine or attempt to sit with Anna while she does math homework when Lilly appears to be happily occupied nearby, she notices and immediately starts producing little grunt sounds to get my attention. When I look to see what she wants, she smiles coyly. If I look away after our little smile and eye contact, she'll grunt again. I'm trying so hard to give her all my attention...buy whew it can wear me down!
• Getting whacked in the face with Tad's tail. Can't say I blame her. It's the perfect height for her sweet little face.
• Saying goodbye to family members. She cries when Daddy leaves for work, or if Jared or Anna go out the door and leave her behind with me.
• Going down for a nap. She fights it less and less, but today was back to a harder day on this front.
• Being carried in any kind of toddler hip carrier. Bummer. So much for my grand ideas about attachment and wearing her out for our walks!
• Vegetables. Normal normal normal.
• Having sticky hands. We go through lots of paper napkins as there is apparently a limited amount of times you are allowed to use the same napkin to wipe hands during a meal.
• Coming inside after playing outside.

The jury is still out:

• She's not sure about the jogging stroller yet. We've used it for 1 4-mile run (she fell asleep) and a few shorter jogs and walks around the neighborhood. I think she prefers the umbrella stroller where she feels more open.
• Baths. She likes to play in the water but hates to have her hair rinsed.

Before I sign off, I have to mention that we have had THREE nights in a row of uninterrupted all-night sleep!! Going down at night has been WAY easier. For some reason, I continue to wake up nearly every hour, unfortunately, but Lilly is sleeping soundly.