Just Some Previously Unpublished Photos from our Trip

Just a few random shots i liked as I began to sort our photos today. Eventually I will put together a montage to post here along with some music to try to capture the whole journey in a short slide show. As I have time...

These are some fun ones--Lilly eating a hot dog that was bigger than her (her first meal as an American citizen in the Atlanta airport); Jared and Anna goofing off outside the souvenir shops in Guangzhou (reminded me of the alley in Turkey); some of us standing under the Starbucks sign in Guangzhou (we actually had really good coffee at most of the hotels, but a true Starbucks mocha is always welcomed!); a beautiful shot of Lilly's face that my new friend, Jenny, one of the adoptive moms in our travel group e-mailed me today (best shot we have of her, by far!), and our family of 5 on the red couch (this one might have been posted already, but hey, you can take another look).

Praying for another good night tonight! She went down pretty easily, and it's time for me to get to bed too.

Learning New Things Each Day

Just a quick post this morning, as Lilly is actually still sleeping and it is past 6am! Woohoo!!

Yesterday felt like a small turning point, as Lilly allowed me to be the one to soothe and comfort her on Saturday night, rather than demanding Daddy through the night. SHe was up frequently (every 60-90 minutes from about 10pm through 4:30am). By 4:30 am it was clear she was DONE with sleeping for the night, so I got up with her and we had a nice breakfast and some good one-on-one play time. I felt as if she was starting to accept and trust me, a good feeling that far outweighs the feeling of fatigue at having so little solid sleep.

Lilly seemed to really enjoy church. I stayed with her in the nursery during the Sunday School hour so she could play and see the other children (took her into a 2-year-old room as she is so very tiny), and then into "big church" for the worship service. SHe really enjoyed the praise and worship time, swinging and swaying and clapping to the music, sometimes letting me hold her, sometimes standing on the pew between us and rocking to the beat. During the speaking, she was really content to stand between us and play with color wonder markers on the pew between us. Midway through she needed to go potty, and--as she was wearing her squeaky shoes and I didnm't want to be disruptive--we went outside to admire the pretty flowers and soak up some sunshine through the res tof the service. SHe did really well with all the attention and greetings, and starting waving hello more consistently as people waved hello to her.

SHe has added a few more words to her English vocabulary, under the tutelage of Tad the golden retriever: In addition to "no," "come," "sit," and "Tad," she now also says "eat" and we think she is starting to say "more."

SHe got to meet many neighbors and friends after church yesterday, as we spent time outside in the beautiful sunshine. She seemed enthralled with all the neighborhood kids, and was sad when Jared, Anna, and their friends Zack and Katie rode by her on their bikes to go play and left her behind. She started following them, her squeaky shoes squeaking just as quickly as they could go. WHen I finally scooped her up to bring her back in she was clearly not happy to bave been left out of the fun. She also seems taken by our little neighbor friends, Emilie and Claire Callender, who are closer to her size (though Claire, whom I used to think of as very tiny, seems monstrous next to littly Lilly!)

The best news of all is that not only did she take a decent nap yesterday with a minimal amount of fussing, she also is having an excellent night's sleep. She fought bedtime again last night, preferring to fall asleep basically standing up leaning on the living room couch as we read her stories. Tom tried to pick her up once she had started to doze off and put her into bed, and she immediately froze up and started screaming. So we spent a good bit of time allowing her to relax again and he finally was able to get her into bed and peacefully asleep. She was up once at about 2am, so my first stretch of 4-hours' sleep felt SOOO good! I was up with her a little while, and, unlike Saturday night, she was back to wanting baba to hold her and was pushing me away as I tried to cuddle her and sing and pray over her. So Tom came to the rescue and got her settled again. I was able to go back to bed shortly after 2am, and when I got up at 5a,. she was still asleep! And I can still hear the sweet sounds of her deep sleepy breathing on the monitor as I type at 6:30am. So it is a good night's rest for all of us.

Tom is off to work already, and today I will take Lilly to base to get her entered as a dependant and registered at the hospital. I can then make her first appointment. I also have som epost-adoption paperwork to get to, sending some documents to our agency and applying for a US birth certificate and social security number. So, I begin afresh with to do lists.

Jared and ANna are thrilled to be on spring break, and I hope we can find some fun things to do while they're home, not filling our entire time with post-adoption paperwork and medical appointments!

MOre photos and video to come...stay tuned. Thanks for reading!

Little Miss Personality

Here are a few shots from yesterday and today. Lilly checks out Tad through the safety of the glass door (she thought it was funny that her underwear kept falling down--the smallest ones they make fall off of her!).

Finally got a bow in that hair!


Here she is wearing her mixing bowl hat, and playing with the little number cards my friend Cindy gave her--she loves them. Any kind of little card--business card, junk mail flyers, tags from clothing--she has to have them! So the little flash cards are a hit!

Here she is checking out the hat selection at Target. She seems to enjoy shopping in America!

Wow, what a difference a day at home makes!! Little Lillian is now starting to really open up and show us who she really is. She has been a busy, active, funny, and mostly happy little girl! Here are a few highlights:

• Praise God, she seems to really like Tad!! At first a little unsure of him, she now enjoys giving him treats and telling him to sit and eat. If he gets too close, she backs up against a wall (for stability, I suspect), and tells him "no, no!" Tad so far is her best English teacher, as he has helped her learn her first 4 English words: "No!" "Sit!" "Tad" and "Come."









• Praise God, Tad seems to sense that she is small and fragile and has been amazingly gentle and subdued with her. It may be that he is completely worn out after 2 weeks of playing with his puppy friend, Kona! (thanks, Laura! He is wiped out!)


• Lilly has learned how to wave bye bye, something she showed no inclination to do in China.


• Lilly smiles and giggles so much now!


• Lilly has started to occasionally call me "Mama." My heart nearly bursts when I hear that one. Not often enough, yet, but it's coming along.


• Lilly has discovered the kitchen cabinets, and decided to wear a mixing bowl as a hat this morning.


• She knew just what to do with the little potty we bought her yesterday (no more standing and holding her over toilets, yay!) and even used it unannounced and unassisted today. Now if we could just get her bowels and bladder trained to make it through the night!


• Lilly seems to be done hoarding food. She refused to eat the snack I gave her before her nap today, opting instead to mix the dry cheerios into the small bowl of applesauce and offer it to me. No, thanks.


• Lilly has shown us the many ways she is much more physically mobile and agile than we had realized in China. Now that she is in a much bigger space, she is showing us she can climb, get up and down from standing to sitting to standing again, and so much more.

I know we have many challenges ahead, both in the immediate future and in the long term. Here are some of them, in no particular order:

• Uninterrupted sleep would be so good. Please pray that she will soon get her schedule on track, get her bowels and bladder to cooperate and not need to potty at night, and not see her bed as a bad place. It seems to be the place that she most fights, and seems to go into her "bubble" the most when near her bed.



• We have much to do in the way of medical treatment for Lilly. Initial appointments with her family practictioner, immunizations, MRI and X-rays, and the consultations to decide on a treatment plan all loom ahead. As I research her congenital scoliosis more and more, I know we have a lot ahead of us to help her get straightened out. And we may have to deal with other internal issues--such as possible lost lung capacity--that have resulted from her deformity.


• I need peace and hope as we progress in our bonds and attachment with Lilly. She still prefers her baba, and I sometimes feel rejected. I am a grown up, and I love her the same, but I pray that she learns to accept me and trust me completely. It may be that she was so closely attached to her foster mama that it is hard for her to accept me at this point. Pray that she will soon.


• As Tom goes back to work next week, I anticipate it may be hard for this daddy's girl (and for her mama). Pray that Tom would have the energy to get back in the groove at work (with his now increased responsibilities) and that Lilly and I would bond all the more with daddy not home.


• Pray that Jared and Anna would continue on their fast track to overcoming jet lag, that Anna could make great strides in completing all her school work (Jared finished his in China; Anna is having a much harder time getting to it all, and it's hard for her to focus and hard for me to help her when Lilly is awake).

Home Safely

We made it home late last night. Praise the Lord!

It was a very long day. Up at 4:30am (which was 3:30pm on Wednesday here in FL) to get our luggage into the hallway. Finally reached our front door last night at about 10:30pm Thursday pm Florida time (which was 11:30am Friday morning in China). So roughly 31 total hours of travel/awake time for us all.

The kids ALL did really well on the long journey. The big kids slept for a good chunk of the long flight, and Lilly slept in little bits here and there. She never did settle in for a good sleep, so Tom and I took turns holding her, walking with her, feeding her, and taking her potty.

We had issues getting checked in at every transfer point...for whatever reason we could not get boarding passes all the way through, so in Seoul and in Atlanta we had to check in again to get fresh boarding passes printed. Our flight out of Atlanta was delayed for several hours, so we had plenty of time to get through immigration, customs, and get some food for these hungry kiddos (Jared and Anna have decided that it's the airplane food that makes them sick when they get airsick, so they don' each much on board the flights). Lilly was happy to eat anything we gave her-she polished off 2 hot dogs in the Atlanta airport (her first meal as an American citizen!).

My good friend Rebecca picked us up at the airport, and had flowers in hand for me, and presents for each of the kids. When we arrived home, what a lovely surprise we had waiting for us: neighbors and colleagues and friends had worked together to stock our pantry and our fridge and our freezers with staples as well as complete meals so that I won't have to worry about getting to the commissary or cooking for a good long time! There were also fun decorations that the kids' friends had made to decorate everyone's bedrooms to welcome home big brother, big sister, and Lilly, as well as a birthday present for Lilly from the Callenders! We are truly spoiled and I am completely overwhelmed at his awesome and practical gesture of love and support.

We had a rough night with Lilly. I had told her repeatedly yesterday that we are "going home," and we were all excited to bring her into the house, let her learn her way around, show her her bedroom and toys, etc. She did great when we first got home, checked things out a bit, played with her new birthday presents, ate a good chunk of the rotisserie chicken that was waiting in our fridge, and had a nice bath with Anna. She seemed to be feeling comfortable and safe. Since we don't have a baby monitor yet, we decided I would sleep in Lilly's room with her in case she had to go potty (she gets up several times each night to potty, and with jet lag, who knows if we would hear her or if she would even sleep well). So Tom said goodnight to us both and went to bed in our big, soft, comfy bed (which I cannot wait to sleep in at some point again!!). Well, Lilly was upset that baba was not nearby, and rather than her whining "I'm not getting my way" cry, she was crying a sad, mournful, pitiful whimper and saying "baba" over and over. It was breaking my heart. I told her Daddy was sleeping and Mommy was right there, but she was still very sad. So I had Tom join us in her room with me, thinking that would solve the problem.

But it didn't. It became apparent that she was not so much upset that Tom wasn't nearby, but that she was now mourning in a deep, grieving way, her foster family. I suspect that when I kept telling her we were "going home," she thought I meant back to her foster family. She insisted on keeping her shoes on in bed (what she did when we first got her, but had since stopped doing), and repeatedly called out "let's go, let's go" and "baba, mama" and another name I didn't know (I'm guessing her foster brother). It broke my heart. She slept fitfully from about 1:30am (when we finally crawled into bed) until 4:30am. I was just about to get up with her at 4:30 (she was crying again), but she suddenly stopped and seems to have fallen into a deep sleep.

I was awakened at 6:30 by sounds of the big kids making breakfast in the kitchen, so I'm up with them now, unpacking. Tom and Lilly are still sleeping. Please pray for her that she will quickly feel comfortable and safe here in her new home, and that we will be sensitive to what she needs and is feeling. At the same time, pray that we will be discerning and diligent in establishing the ground rules here at home so that she will soon learn what is and is not ok. (e.g., I want her to eat at the table, not walking around the living room).

Praise God with us that we are home safely, that we now have a week of spring break to get our body clocks adjusted and settle back in at home, and that we have good friends who have met our every need.

Now that we're home, I'll try to continue to post frequently, but I suspect my days will be full taking care of the kiddos and getting settled, so posts may be irregular. Later today we will post some photos and video of the fun housewarming decorations and Lilly checking out her new home.

Last Post from China--Zai Jian!

Here are some scenes from our last few days...birthday cake. the White Swan play room. the amazing breakfast spread (I was a total tourist this morning and took photos of the food).

I cannot believe I am writing this final post from Guangzhou. Forgive me for not posting at all yesterday--we didn't do much of note, and the only times I had a chance to write were during naps or night time sleep, and I didn't want to disturb our little mei mei.

We have enjoyed seeing more and more of Lilly's personality these last few days, and have mostly spent our time (aside from visa paperwork) shopping, playing in the hotel's awesome play room with lots of other adoptive families, and hanging out in the room (which has become Lilly's favorite hangout, where we see more of her playful side emerging).

Today was Lilly's 3rd birthday, and we celebrated by taking our adoption oath at the US Consulate. As we said the oath, surrounded by many other American adoptive families, I found myself tearing up. It wasn't that we said anything special in the oath (we basically said that all of our paperwork was true and accurate), but the fact that this was our last bit of formal paperwork and ceremony to complete this amazing process, and the fact that we were doing it together with the other wonderful families in our group, made it a touching thing for me. Lilly will travel home on a Chinese passport, but the minute we land in Atlanta, she will become a US citizen.

Tonight, after eating fabulous Italian food with some of our good friends (I know, Italian food in China??), we celebrated Lilly's birthday in our room with a lovely cake that Kathy, our CCAI guide, had sent to our room from the hotel management. We gave Lilly a few little presents (a cloisonne bracelet to match anna's, some little utensils and chopsticks, and some Chinese-English picture books). It was fun to watch Lilly enjoy her cake, and then feed it to daddy and mommy!

So as we pack up tonight we leave the hotel at 5:50am), I have mixed emotions. We are thrilled to be going home, retrieving our beloved pets from good friends (hopefully Laura's back yard is intact and Tad hasn't dug up too mny spots!), and settling into whatever our new "normal" will look like. Can't wait to sleep in a soft bed again, too. And we especially can't wait to introdouce Lilly to family and friends. But I am sad to say goodbye to the friends we have made, sad to say goodbye to China (hope to make it back again before too much time passes!), and somewhat sad to see Lilly leaving the country of her birth.

It has been so exciting to remember my Mandarin, and I am excited to maybe put it to use in some way in the future. For now, I will continue to use it each day to communicate with Lilly as she begins to learn English.

So pray for us as we endure the long flight home, and as we begin to settle in at home and get through jet lag.

Zai jian to Zhongguo, zai jian to our awesome CCAI friends!

Still Having Fun in Guangzhou

*******Red Couch Photos*********

Is this a Chinese spin bike?

This is how the day started...so sweet!

A hazy Guangzhou morning (view from our hotel)

Lilly's turn for her medical exam.

Some new (squeaky) shoes and a bowl of noodles after the tortuous medical exam






Anna with some of her fellow big adoptive sisters.

After a long night (Lilly was up several times. coughing, asking for milk, needing the potty), today has actually been a fine day so far. I got up early to go for a jog around the island (lots of locals out getting early morning exercise) and have some quiet time. We once again enjoyed the sumptuous breakfast spread, this time sitting next to the indoor waterfall. So much food that we haven't needed lunch the past two days. This morning, Lilly had her medical exam (a formality it seems, based on the minimal exam they performed). All 3 kids and I then did some shopping (got Lilly some cute "squeaky shoes") and got Lilly some noodles for lunch (her food horizons are expanding, however--halfway through her gigantic bowl of noodles she looked over at me and said in Chinese "meat?" Like, "hey Mom, where's the beef?" She then feel asleep after playing in her crib for a little while.

Our "red couch photos" are today, apparently a tradition in the China adoption community. Our group will get photos on the White Swan's red couch. We got Anna and Lilly each a blue silk dress for the occasion. We'll see how Lilly likes the photo op! By the time I post this, we should have the photos uploaded. (note added later: Lilly's blue dress didn't fit, but the pink silk noutfit I bought for my now high-school aged niece when I was living in Nanjing did fit her!)

This afternoon we will take care of filling out all of our visa paperwork, and tomorrow Jason and Kathy, our wonderful CCAI reps will take all of the paperwork to the US Consulate for the group. Once we get her visa tomorrow, our last formal event will be taking an oath at the US Consulate on Wednesday (Lilly's birthday). Then, we pack for home!

Even though we are tired and ready for normal life again, I have to say I am feeling quite spoiled, with such precious family time, wonderful food that I don't have to cook or clean up, a maid to clean our rooms and turn down the sheets each day, and time with a wonderful group of new friends to learn from and gain encouragement from (hopefully it's a two-way street in that regard).

Thanks again to all of you who have been following our journey, praying, sending e-mails, and posting comments. Miss you and love you!

Having Fun in Guangzhou

Sorry for the delay in updating the blog! We had a full day yesterday with the flight and getting settled in here in Guangzhou.

The biggest news with Lilly the past 2 days is that she has become quite the daddy's girl! All day yesterday, Lilly wanted nothing but for daddy to hold her. Tom had the pleasure of holding her the entire flight (she slept until lunch arrived) and pretty much the rest of the day as we settled into the beautiful White Swan Hotel on Shamian Island here in Guanzhou. Mommy was feeling a little hurt in the morning, but I soon realized that she was a happy girl, and it was relaxing to know that she was starting to feel a sense of trust and relaxation around us.

Last night we explored the island a little, had dinner at the famous Lucy's Cafe (a local restaurant that serves a wide variety of western and Asian foods), found Starbucks, and started scouting out prices for souvenir items the kids have been eyeing ever since Beijing.

We had a great night's sleep (Lilly was up to go potty only twice), and got to savor the White Swan breakfast feast sitting by the gigantic windows right on the Pearl River. This hotel is pretty much "adoption central," as all American adoptive families and some other nationalities have to come through Guangzhou to acquire visas for their babies. So it's very common to see mixed race families wandering around the island.

After breakfast today, we went on a city tour to the local Buddhist temple, an art museum, and an arts and crafts shop. It was a great morning, then back to the hotel for some noodles for Lilly and a (too short) nap. We are about to venture back out for some shopping before going to get Lilly's visa photo taken.

I feel as if we are starting to turn a corner with Lilly. Today, she has been willing to go to either mommy or daddy (still slightly prefers daddy), and she is much quicker with a smile and even some giggles. She is showing a lot more interest in toys rather than just foods, and it is fun to play with her as she stacks and nests the stacking cups we brought. She is also stqarting to look at the books we brought and color with the colow wonder markers. Still not much interest in stuffed animals or dolls.

We are also noticing that she is starting to fill out a little. Her face and legs are getting a little rounder!

Lilly reveals more and more how smart she is each day. Yesterday, Tom was fiddling with the TV in the room to see if we could connect my ipod to it, when Lilly came over and handed him the remote as if to say "here, Dad, this is how you turn it on!"

Jared and Anna are definitely nearing the end of their excitement at being away from home. Their tolerance for each other is growing shorter. Actually, truth be told, as much fun as we are having in China, the thought of being home in just 5 days is absolutely thrilling to all of us!! Too bad there is a nearly 24-hour travel day between here and there!

Thanks for all your prayers! Enjoy the photos and video.of Lilly using chopsticks to eat her noodles!

Last Day in Henan Province: A few steps forward, a step or two back

Our bags are packed for our flight tomorrow to Guangzhou, the final leg of our adoption trip. We received Lillys Chinese passport today, and now need to get her visa allowing her to enter the US. We are all eager for a change of scenery and are excited we are inside a week from actually being home!

Today we did a group trip to the local zoo, then spent the afternoon at the hotel playing. roaming the hallways, Anna and Daddy swimming, and eating dinner at our bfavorite local restaurant at the Holiday Inn Express next door. I also ventured out with a few others to retrieve the photos developed from the disposable cameras I had sent in care packages to Lilly's orphanage. There are some wonderful photos on it withLilly and friends at her orphanage as well as with her foster mama. when llly saw the photo of herself, she said "Mei Mei" (little sister), and when she saw her foster mother, she said "Mama." Itbroke my heart. I know Lilly misses her because after that she seemed sad. And I'm sure that sweet CHinese mama is missing this little meimei too.

It seems as if progress with Lilly is not continual, but involves a step or two backward after a few steps forward. Lilly had a fabulous night last night--she went to sleep quietly with a few toys in her bed, and did not have any diarrhea through the night. This morning, however, it seemed as if we had gone a few steps backwards in terms of Lilly being emotionally shut down and --as we call it--not wanting anyone to get near her "bubble." She was happy to let Tom carry her around at the zoo, but once he handed her off to me, forget it. She was screaming and writhing andI'm sure the locals thought I had either abducted her or was beating her.

This afternoon, even though she did not fall asleep for a nap (played quiety in her crib), she finally smiled for mama as she and I roamed the hallways and I made a game of carrying her up the stairs. So good to see her smile and feel as if maybe she liked being with me a little. I SO cannot wait to gt her home and feel like we can regain some sense of normalcy in our lives again!

*********THE RED BOOTS********

I have been meaning to share a sweet story about a comment I got on my blog posting the day after we got Lilly, when I posted photos with her little red boots. Someone whom I have not met posted a comment to let me know she was thrilled to see the red boots on Lilly. She adopted from Anyang--the same orphanage as Lilly--6 months go, and had sent a care package just 6 weeks ago to the orphanage for the babies. Lilly's little red boots were one of the items in the care package How cool is that? She has since deleted the comment (not sure why?) but I wanted to share this sweet story. If the original poster is still reading, thanks so much for sharing!

Here are a few photos-the real reason you all are here, right?

Living with Lilly

Each day a little more of the real Lilly shines through the hard protective outer shell. Here are a few glimmers of light shining through the cracks...

Celebrating small victories

No photos to post right now, but wanted to just say we are seeing little bits of progress this morning. We are encouraging Lilly to use words (Chinese , English or sign) rather than whines or grunts when she wants or needs something, and she is starting to catch on. She is really taken with her handsome gege (big brother) and he has been a huge help when she wants to go roam the hallways. She had a really rough night last night, up almost every hour with terrible diarrhea, but seems a bit better today and is now napping after a windy morning at the park and a bowl of noodles for lunch in the room. Little glimmers of opening up to and trusting us are apparent, which warms my heart and gives me hope. She even referred to me as "mama" once today. Thank You Lord for little victories and progress!

Baby Steps

We had a fun morning at a local park with my friend Kristine's family, riding paddle boats, blowing bubbles, watching Chinese women dote on and take photos of Anna (she gets lots of attention here, probably a good thing given all that is happening in her little world.)

As I began writing this post this afternoon, Tom, Jared, Anna and Lilly were behind me playing silly games with Lilly on the floor behind me. They were all leaning at the foot of one our beds (seems to be Lilly's comfort zone) in our room. She would offer her cracker, then, as daddy leaned in for a bite, she pulled`it away and smiles as daddy laughs. So good to see this solemn girl smile. Jared got some video footage so we'll post it later. No nap for this girl today, and my time of trying to encourage one has ended.

The big kids and Tom went to the pool this afternoon. I took Lilly down in her new bathing suit for a little while (don't think she liked having bare legs) but she and I didn't stay long. She had no interest in getting in (and I didn't want to try to wrestle her to get her cute red boots off). Plus, a Chinese man came over to see Lilly, and asked me why I would want to adopt her since I could have gotten a healthy child. His tone and is implication that Lilly wasn't worthy of a family like mine bothered me, so we went back upstairs.

Lilly loves to walk around in the hallways here in the hotel, but she really dislikes being in the room. Bedtime was a struggle tonight, as all she wanted to do was get down from bed and go walk the hallways. She is, once again, finally asleep.

I find myself constantly scond guessing my parenting with her, but am trying hard to follow my mommy instincts as to what she needs and when to stand firm in the face of her strong will and strong voice. Definitely a challenge. I know that many of the other moms in our group also struggle with feelings of not just physical and emotional fatigue right now, but also struggling to know how best to deal with the quirky and sometimes downright unacceptable behaviors we see in these precious toddlers.

We all just keep reminding ourselves that this is only day 3, and we've already come a long way. May tomorrow continue to show progress inour family's new bonds of love with Lilly, and may we each have a day of good health to enjoy this time in Lilly's native land.