Cantilina Christmas Letter 2009

I think I figured out how to paste our Christmas letter here!  Click on the image (one is the first page, one the second) and your computer should pull it up as a .gif file so it's big enough to read.  Merry Christmas to you all!

Communication Chuckles and Challenges

My last post dealt mainly with Lilly's physical well-being and growth. Let me tell you a few funny things about our communication these days.

• First of all, most of Lilly's language these days is a mixture of Chinese and English, or "Chiglish" as we refer to it in our home. I'm sure by now we have our own dialect of Cantilina Chinglish, as Jared and Anna have each picked up enough Chinese to form many basic sentences, but freely fill in with English words where their Chinese vocabulary fails them.
  
• Lilly's sentences continue to consist mainly of English pronouns, followed by Chinese verbs, followed by English objects. I don't think her brain has quite made the distinction between the two languages. Today, however, I think we had a breakthrough of sorts. Lilly and I were sitting in Tom's office having lunch with him. She asked me a question entirely in Chinese. After I gave her my Chinese answer, she turned to Tom and asked him the same question, entirely in English. He answered her in English, which she understood. I would say that is progress!
  
• Sometimes the Chinglish makes for more challenges. There are several words that sound the same in both languages but have COMPLETELY different meanings. Sometimes it takes me awhile to figure out which language LIlly is speaking. For instance, the word "go" and the Chinese word for dog, "gou." Sometimes I'm not sure if she is talking about Tad or talking about going somewhere. Another--even better--example is that the way she pronounces the word "lollipop" sounds an awful lot like the Chinese word for "to poop." Don't want to get that one mixed up!
  
• Lilly always keeps us laughing with the funny things she says. For example, as Tom was tucking Lilly into bed recently, he said "Good night, princess, I love you!" Lilly promptly and sternly replied "I no pincess...I Lilly!" Even though she was dead serious (don't call this girl by the wrong name!), she joined us in laughing when we cracked up.
  
• One of her nicknames is "Monkey DO!" Whatever Anna or Jared does (especially Anna), Lilly does. Voice inflection. Choice of words. Attitude. This can be a good thing, or a bad thing, depending, of course, on how Anna chooses to act. (no pressure, Anna, but that's a heavy responsibility!) Recently, when I had made a special evening treat of chocolate milkshakes for the kids following Anna's school musical, Lilly sucked hers down quickly, enjoying every last drop. She then proceeded to drink Anna's portion when I remembered that Anna doesn't like chocolate milkshakes. Once Lilly realized that Anna was having an oreo instead, Lilly said "I yao!" (Chinglish--I want one!). When I explained that Anna was having it only because she didn't like chocolate milkshakes Lilly said earnestly (hoping to also get an oreo) "I no like dat" pointing to the second empty chocolate milk glass in front of her. Yeah, right, girl!
  
• Lilly also frequently mimics what she hears other people saying. When I recently said to her "I love you, Lillian Joy!" she came right back at me with "I love you, Mama Joy!"

Another interesting aspect to our lives right now is that anonymity is out the door. When Lilly and I are out and about, people tend to notice this petite--but vocal--and endearingly crooked Chinese girl with her caucasian mama speaking Mandarin. As a result, people who have seen us before remember us when they see us again. Lilly hence has many many friends in Niceville. They like to come over and say hello, frequently offering Lilly lollipops or stickers or just a friendly smile. Lilly is not always so sure what to make of the attention (she likes the sweets, mind you, but she's not always so sure about strangers), but I think it's sweet that people want to shower her with love. The only problem is that this mama cannot always place why we know these people or how they know us! Makes for some awkward moments!



Finally, as Lilly and I were wrapping up a busy morning of shopping at the BX and the Commissary one day this week, she said "Mama, look!" and she made a weird face with her mouth all elongated, her eyebrows raised, and her head tilted slightly back as if she were trying to look up at the ceiling at something. So I followed her gaze to see what she was trying to see. "No, Mama, look at me!" was her response. When I smiled and asked her why she was making a funny face, she said "look at my eyes! They're big, like yours!" and she tried her hardest to contort her face even further to exaggerate big eyes. I almost fell over laughing in the middle of the check out line at the Commissary. I had just recently been telling a friend how I wondered when Lilly would start to notice that her physical appearance is different from the rest of her family. I figured it would be months if not years from now. This girl is sharp!

Lilly's favorite books to read are those that deal with little animals finding their mothers, such as "A Mother for Choco," and "Are You My Mother?" She requests these books over and over, and snuggles a little closer to me when we reach the end and each animal is safe and warm with its mother. Makes me wonder if she remembers her life before us.

Enough for now...I need to go to bed. But before that, here is a link to Anna's performance as Pocahontas in her Disney Spectacular musical last week. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Qf-JLkHrqA

Update on Lilly's Spine

We had a followup visit with Lilly's orthopedist in Pensacola last week. They did new x-rays (which Lilly didn't enjoy at all) and measured the changes in her curvature since her last visit back in the spring. Her curvature is, not surprisingly, worsening as she grows. And she has grown a lot since we've had her home--8 pounds, 3.5 inches taller, 4 shoe sizes! Good nutrition does wonders.

Growth is good, but the worsening curvature is not. It has gone from 95 degrees about a year ago, 100 degrees in the spring, and now 115 degrees. Her two fused ribs on one side and the corresponding fused vertebrae and hemivertebrae in her spine prevent her left side from growing at the same rate as her right. In fact, the left side really can't expand at all. So, if left untreated, eventually the curvature would have severe impacts on her lung capacity, her cardiac output, and who know what else.

The orthopedist here feels that surgery is now indicated sometime in the next year, no later than a year and a half. After looking at her x-rays and examining her spine (Lilly didn't cry while he looked her over--WAY different than our last visit!), he sat down, looked us in the eyes, took a deep breath, and asked "So, where are your families?"

I knew where he was going. The surgery itself--likely to involve place VEPTR implant growth rods and separating the bone fusions--will be complicated and risky, and is likely to require an ICU stay and lengthy recovery. Being near family to help with the older kids will be key. When we answered "NJ and PA," he said "how about Children's Hospital of Phildadelphia?" (CHOP) He highly respects the surgeons there, and felt that their facilities offered the best care and best outcome for Lilly. I asked about Shriners in Philly (I've heard a lot about Shriners on the various yahoo groups I've found that deal with congenital scoliosis), but he seemed to believe that CHOP would be better. The dr. he referred us to, Dr. Dormans, is the head of pediatric orthopedics at CHOP, and two other surgeons that work there are world renowned for the type of surgery that LIlly is likelt to need. As I've done more research about CHOP and the surgeons there, I am increasingly comfortable and confident in this direction.

After returning home from Pensacola following LIlly's appointment, I had a call within just an hour or so from the staff at CHOP, and they were able to get her scheduled to come in for an initial consult while we're home for Christmas already! We are so thrilled they were able to do this--saving us an extra flight to PA and all the logistical challenges of finding care for the older kids at another time.

Our hope is that we can schedule her surgery for next summer, when the kids are off from school, so we can all go up, let the big kids enjoy time hanging out with their cousins and Grammy and Pop Pop, and Tom and I can be freed up to be in Philadelphia with Lilly.

Pray with us that the surgeons would have wisdom to know the best course of treatment for Lilly, for the timing to work out perfectly, for her health in the meantime to be good, for wisdom about whether and when to seek any second opinions.

Praise God with us for good care already, for her overall great health, for the fact that we are able to be seen while we're already up in the area.

Stay tuned!

A WAY long overdue update!

Happy Fall, Y'all! It has been quite a full and fun few months since I last posted any photos or really updated the blog and what we've been up to!

Fall weather has finally arrived on Florida's central coast, with today a lovely, clear blue sky, 72-degree day. SO happy to hot muggy weather (hopefully) has left us for a few months! Especially since we are just a few short weeks away from Thanksgiving!

Jared's cross-country season has wrapped up, Anna's soccer season has entered the season-finale tournament ("Go Red Dragons!"), and the first 9-weeks of school has concluded. Anna is busy with her violin, attending orchestra two mornings a week before school and taking lessons one afternoon a week; Jared is auditioning for the All-County Band in a few weeks...he better keep practicing that trombone! Winter sports will begin soon--Jared is trying out for the school soccer team, and Anna might go back to the pool...we'll see! The big kids, I have to say, are doing a great job of staying (mostly) on top of all the many things they have to do and are being a great big brother and sister to Lilly. They have full weeks and it amazes me how fast the days just fly by. Juggling their schedules keeps me on my toes, and I have to say I am a firm believer in CARPOOLING! Now I know why my mom was so happy when I got my driver's license way back when.

Lilly has been doing really well. She mostly enjoys her days at school, even though the initial separation can still be a little hard for her. Once she's there, however, she does great and her teachers report that she interacts approrpriately, seems to understand everything that is going on, and is really self-sufficient despite her petite frame. She did not, however, enjoy the class field trip to the Fire Station next door--too big, loud, and scary all around. She got to experience her first Halloween ever last weekend, dressed as a ladybug. At first she was a bit bewildered by the whole experience, but once she realized that candy was the end result of walking up to each house (yes, she learned to say "trick or treat" really quickly), she was eager to not miss a single house in the neighborhood!

We are excited to be spending Thanksgiving in Disney with our niece, Tanya, and are even more excited to be traveling home for Christmas several weeks later. It will be fun for Lilly to meet the rest of her extended family! And it's been several years since we were in NJ or PA for Christmas.

Tom is keeping himself out of trouble (mostly!) by spending lots and lots of time working hard each day. His job is truly an incredibly complex set of roles and responsibilities, and it makes my head swim to hear him talk of the many times each day he has to shift gears. He does it well, does it without seeking recognition, and still manages to come home at night to the kids and me with a smile on his face ready to take on whatever our evenings hold.

As for me, I had marathon-training withdrawal when I didn't run this year's Marine Corps Marathon (took place the next to last week in October), so I have decided to enter the Tallahassee 2010 Marathon (to be run on 7 February) and will do two local half marathons--one in November and one in March. A marathon sandwich of sorts. I am excited to be, once again, running my marathon as a fund raiser, this time for an organization called "Henan Kids International," which is a charity arm of our adoption agency, Chinese Children Adoption International (CCAI). If you would like to sponsor me as I run, following are the instructions on how to do so:

There are two ways to go about this:

1) Go through the Henan Kids International's website. That way you can learn more about the organization and what they are doing for the children in China. You can click on the link pasted here: http://www.henankids.org/sponsor/sponsor.aspx which will take you to the Henan Kids International website. When you click on "make a donation," it will direct you to the CCAI website donation page, where you will designate a one-time gift, a yearly gift, or a monthly gift. In the space provided to designate your funds to a specific project, type in "Amy Cantilina Marathon Fund." This will earmark all of the funds for Lilly's orphanage, the Anyang Social Welfare Institute.

OR

2) You can go directly to the CCAI website's donation page via this link: http://chinesechildren.org/Charity/DonationForm.aspx You would then designate your gift as "one time," "monthly," or "yearly," and then designate the funds for the "Amy Cantilina Marathon Fund" in the space provided for a specific project.

I am excited to think that my running this year can directly benefit Lilly's friends back in China. Any donation can go such a long way for these children waiting for families! Feel free to send me any questions about how to do this, or if you'd rather just mail a check to Henan Kids International.

Heart Aching for Friends Today

Just wanted to share a blog of a friend of ours from church. Yesterday, they welcomed their baby boy into this world, and were given the gift of 40 precious minutes with him before they had to say goodbye and release him into the loving arms of the Heavenly Father. Lauren's blog has been an amazing testimony of faith and trust in the midst of what must be the hardest days of her life. Her blog's link is below, in case any of you would like to be inspired by their family's story.

http://jonathansbabyjournal.blogspot.com/

Lilly then and now..after 6 months in our arms...

What an enormous difference 6 months makes! Our six-month anniversary of the day we received Lilly just passed (16 September). Take a look.

THEN:

Moments after first laying eyes on one another, here we are heading from the office where we received Lilly to the photographer's to get her adoption photos taken.

Holding her for the first time.


Our referral photo...

AND NOW:


Lilly now, ready for preschool!

Happy Girl!

settling in now...

All the "firsts" of fall are now over. We are several weeks into the school year for Jared and Anna, and Lilly is into her second week of school. Cross country, pep band, scouts, soccer, AWANA, Kids Choir, orchestra, Women's Bible Study...it's all well underway. Life is very full, very busy, and very rich.

Now that the novelty of new fall routines has worn off, it's time to learn to cope with the busyiness of daily life with grace and patience. It's time for me to teach and motivate the big kids to do their best, work their hardest, act kindly, respectfully, and graciously always, be responsible for their homework, their belongings, their time. It's time for me to learn to get all the housework and errands done on Lilly's school days so I can simply spend time playing and being with her on her days at home.

It's time for me to *consistently* find myself sitting at God's feet, soaking up wisdom from His word, and pouring out my heart to Him in prayer. I need discerning eyes to see when to correct my kids and when to simply praise and support them. I need a heart that is not so full of myself that I get annoyed when the kids demand my attention at inopportune times. I need wisdom to find ways to occupy Lilly while Anna does her homework and needs my attention. I need to be purposeful in spending time and conversing with Jared, who is my easiest child to parent at the moment, but whom I fear I could lose touch with since I spend so much of my emotional energy on his sisters.

No photos today, just heartfelt thoughts, and a request for your prayers for me as a mom.

Lilly's First Day of Preschool

After a fun long weekend with Grammy and Pop Pop visiting and Daddy home from work, Lilly today began her long-anticipated 2-mornings-a-week preschool. She has been excited about going to school for weeks, no months, now. From the time we first brought her home from China and started taking the big kids to school, she has been asking me to go to school. So today was the big day.

On the way to the school, she showed a few signs of anxiety ("mom, can you stay with me?" and I assured her I would stay for a little while), but when we got there, there was almost no turning back. She immediately got busy playing with a little doll house, and then some puzzles, and then, when I said goodbye and gave her a squeeze, she got back to her play.

I had decided in advance that I would pick her up early since it seems like a long day for 3-year-olds, but when I arrived about 40 minutes early, happy as she was to see me, she told me in no uncertain terms that she didn't want to leave yet! When I offered to come back in a little while to get her (and go finish the pedicure that I left halfway through because I was missing her so much and having visions of her missing me, too), she said "no, stay." So I just stayed and played for the last 40 minutes.

The teachers all said she did really well, no communication issues at all. She was definitely wound up when we got home, but quickly settled down for her nap. And since school puts her on a bit later nap schedule, I am hoping for a few quiet minutes with just Anna when she gets home from school.

Here are some photos from Lilly's big day (and a few others as well!):

Here is Lilly on her new scooter with her new helmet. She might have a tiny little body, but we needed a big helmet!

Some snuggle time with Daddy

Lilly loves Pop Pop, and likes to run shrieking from him when her pretends to come tickle her.


Lilly with Grammy.

Now, the pictures you were waiting for...here she is ready for school, with lunch box and "bucket" in hand!

Is it time yet mom?

First stop--the dollhouse.

Lilly calls her school "threeschool" instead of preschool since she's 3. Here she is showing me (unprompted) that she is at threeschool.


Next stop--the puzzles.

First Day of School 2009

Hard to believe another school year has begun! This is how our first day of school went--MOnday, August 24th, 2009. It started with a little wake-up call in Anna's room:

"Hmmmmm? Is it really time to wake up already?"

Jared, however, did not need a wake up visit from me...this was my first glimpse of him in the morning as I got breakfast ready--he was up, dressed, and mostly packed up. If only the excitement of the first day of school could carry over into all the other days of school and getting ready would be done so quickly with no nagging!!

Anna emerged from her room wearing the outfit she had laid out the night before...but wait, where is her hairbrush??


Now looking a little more awake...time for breakfast (so far lilly is sleeping through the school day preparations)...

Here she is, finally awake and a bit surprised to see Jared and Anna up and dressed. Big kids are looking ready to go! I spent much time explaining to Lilly that she starts her school in TWO WEEKS (but not today)...

At last, it's time for Jared to head out to catch his bus. He sneaks out the back door, through the back gate to the main road (that way if he misses the bus, he has a chance to catch it on its way back out of our neighborhood...always thinking, eh?)

Bye Jared! Have a great day! I love you!

Bye again Jared! Don't let Tad out!

On our way out the door with Anna and Lilly, I snuck over to the bus stop to catch a glimpse of Jared and his buddies waiting for the Destin Middle School bus. Even though they were really cool and wanted it to seem like it was dorky for me to take a photo, they look pleasantly pleased that I cared enough to do so! Aren't they cute?

And here's the bus...we passed it on foot as we walked up the hill to school.

Next it's time for Anna to head out the door. We stopped first at Katie's house, and Cali was waiting for us in our driveway...

Walking down the hall to the classroom...

Anna and her friend Ciara outside Mrs. Mason's classroom (Jared had her for 4th grade too).

Anna in her classroom, ready to get to work on the items listed on the white board. Bye mom!

So they all made it through Day One! Here is Anna and friends after school!



And now it's already Thursday afternoon, the first week nearly over! They have had a great week, and Lilly has adjusted fairly well to not having them home. I miss them a lot, and I miss the extra people around to play with Lilly and help with things! Next week is the last week Lilly is home every day, so I am hoping she and I can do some fun things together at home and out and about...

We're excited Tom's parents are coming down over Labor Day--anyone else want to come soon? Maybe join us at Disney for Thanksgiving??

Last Week of Summer Vacation!

The house is quiet. Jared and Anna are at school; Lilly is napping; even the dog is out cold somewhere in the house. The computer is humming and I should be cleaning a bathroom or two. But instead, here I sit, uploading some photos so you all can enjoy the back-t0-school moments from this week!

We filled our last week home from school with fun things like a beach day, a day to visit daddy at work and play at the splash pad on base, and just fun stuff at home. Here are some shots from our last week of summer vacation:

Here is Anna getting nice and hot on the swings just before heading over to the splash pad with Lilly:

Here is Lilly with Anna and some of her friends having an impromptu back to school tea party (drank the last of our Turkish Apple Chai--yikes, help!) on a rainy day.


Here are Anna and Lilly enjoying the water park on base. Lilly has gotten so much braver in the water! Even the water splashing her in the face (as below!) doesn't phase her much!

Lilly tried the big kids' swing...she usually swings in my lap, but it makes me seasick quickly...so she gave this a try when mama said I had to stop! She is growing up!

On Wednesday last week, we surprised Tom at work with some brownies on a Wednesday in the middle of a VERY busy work week. He was happy to have us there...I felt bad keeping him from his work, but he kept saying "don't go!" All his coworkers are so sweet and gracious and welcoming to the kids and me...it is easy to hang around there! We decided to keep a stash of playdough in daddy's office so when we visit, Lilly has something to play with.

On Saturday, Tom had to go to work to prepare a briefing for the AF Surgeon General, so the kids and I headed to the beach with some friends for one last before-school beach day (it was a BEAUTIFUL day!) Here, Jared, Anna, and friend Sophie are admiring the 20+ small fish and one hermit crab that they caught in the surf. The water was beautiful and clear and lots of sealife was visible.

Big brother and Lilly hanging together and enjoying some junk food (gotta' live a little, no?)

Lilly couldn't decide which sunglasses matched her hat the best:

And finally, the Sunday night before school started, Tom and the kids did an impromptu swim night after dinner, before final baths and school-night bedtimes!

And so, summer vacation 2009 is a wrap!

PS: Like my new glasses?