I Have to Wonder...
- ...what you are thinking when friends come to visit. Are you afraid they might be the next ones to take you away from familiar surroundings?
- ...whether you used to play a game of "buying things" with your foster mama. So cute when you wanted to trade the penny for the apple the other day.
- ...whether you think about/miss your foster family or friends and nannies in the orphanage, and whether you wonder if you'll see any of them when we go outside.
- ...whether the Chinese I am able to use with you each day now will have any lasting value in your language skills/life. For now, I'm grateful for a way to communicate basic things. My prayer is that my love for you will come through even in this foreign (to me) language.
- ...whether you always got your way when you threw tantrums in China.
- ...whether you think every car ride will take you to a strange place where strangers will take you awaw.
- ...what the plans are that God has for your life. He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future. SO privileged to be a part of that plan.
- ...how hard it will be to take good care of your skeletal shape to allow your body to grow and thrive.
- ...whether I am doing the right things each day as I learn how to take care of your needs without succumbing to tantrums and demands. Lord give me wisdom, love, and grace.
Why Adoption? Why China?
I'm sure that many of you, when you learned that Tom and I were pursuing adoption of a little girl from China, wondered "why?!" We may have taken some of you by surprise, and we thought it might be nice to share some of our thinking about this journey we are undertaking.
Adoption is something that, even from the earliest years of our marriage, we talked about as "maybe someday." The idea of adoption is appealing to us for many reasons. As Christians, we are adopted by God as his children through faith in Jesus. Adoption allows us to provide a child with the needed love, warmth, and financial resources we have been blessed with as a family. Finally, adoption allows us to add to our family at a time when our biological children are old enough to be more self-sufficient, and we are in a position financially to be able to welcome a child into our family in this way. What we hope to gain is an additional family member to love and learn from, and an opportunity to share the joy and love of our family.
We recognize that an adoption will bring unique parenting challenges to our family--especially since we are considering a child with special needs--and it is likely to put unique stresses on our family in a variety of ways. We are grateful for Tom's medical knowledge and for the great medical coverage we get through Tom's Air Force career, and we look forward to providing a forever family for a child whose medical needs might make it more difficult for another family to take on.
Finally, why China? My love for China, the Chinese language, and the Chinese people made China the natural choice. It was never really even a consideration whether to go with a domestic adoption or international; China was simply the natural choice that we immediately pursued, especially since there are so many children in China that need a forever family.
Our Adoption Timeline
- Travel Dates--11-26 March
- Swearing In Ceremony at Consulate--25 March (Lilly's 3rd Birthday!)
- Consulate Appointment (CA)--24 March
- Travel Approval (TA)--19 February 2009
- Received Letter of Approval (LOA)--22 January 2009
- Received Pre-Approval (PA)--25 November
- Submitted Letter of Intent (LOI) to adopt An Xiao Xue, soon to be named Lillian Joy Xiao Xue, 1 November (logged in at CCAA 21 November)
- Referral Call from CCAI asking us to consider An Xiao Xue's profile--31 October
- Dossier Log-in-Date (LID) 3 July 2008
- Dossier to China (DTC)--June 27 2008
- Dossier Submitted to CCAI--June 2008
- Fingerprinted at USCIS Jacksonville--April 2008
- Application Approval ("We're Pregnant!") January 2008
- Submitted Adoption Application and 3 References--December 2007
- Requested Application from Chinese Children Adoption International (CCAI) --November 2007
- Decided to Investigate Agencies--October 2007
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5 comments:
All of these things will have answers & make sense to you one day. It will all fall into place and you will raise a happy, healthy little girl.And she will eventually (when she is grown) understand exactly how much you actually did for her!!
you made me cry again
Aww, Amy, you made me cry! The things we adoptive mothers think about....
When adopting a child this age, we have to wonder all those things. Soon, you will have much time where things seem totally normal and as if she understands all and then suddenly out of the blue she is inconsolable and crying with great grief again. What triggered it you will never know. One day you will wake up and realize that never happens any more. I am looking forward to that!
I just checked in for the first time in a while.
I know its so hard to not know what your kids are thinking. Trust your instincts and Lily will soon learn that you are not going to leave her and that she is really a part of your family.
You are doing a great job. Your Lilly seems to be adjusting so well to being home. You can already see a big difference in her face from just a few short weeks ago.
I know its easy to think about the what ifs, but just know that the love you are giving her is the best thing for her right now!
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